GETTING ON WITH OTHERS USING DBT
In DBT, Interpersonal Effectiveness refers to the skills which help us to:
- Attend to relationships
- Balance priorities versus demands
- Balance the 'wants' and 'shoulds'
- Build a sense of mastery and self-respect
GAINING OUR OBJECTIVE
In order to increase our
effectiveness in dealing with other people, we need to:
- Clarify what we want from the interaction - be as specific about
that as you can
- Identify what we need to do in order to get the results we want
DEAR MAN - helping us gain our
Describe the current situation
your feelings and opinions
Assert yourself by asking for
what you want, or by saying no
Reward the person - let
them know what they will get out of it
objectives without distraction (broken record technique, ignoring attacks)
Appear effective and competent (role play, use your acting
Negotiate alternative solutions
important is this relationship for me?
What do I want this person to feel
about me after this interaction?
What do I need to do, in order to keep
Keeping the Relationship - GIVE
Gentle manner without attack or threat
in the other person
Validate the other person without
Easy manner (with a little humour?)
What do I want
to feel about myself after this interaction?
What do I have to do in
order to feel that way about myself?
Keeping to your self-respect - FAST
Fair to myself and others
for being alive
values (not do anything I'll
Truthful without excuses or exaggeration