Our
thoughts - all 70,000 to 100,000 of them every day - are constantly helping us to interpret the world around us, describing
what is happening, and trying to make sense of it by helping us interpret events,
sights, sounds, smells, feelings.
Without even realising it, we are interpreting and giving our own meanings to
everything happening around us. We might decide that something is pleasant or
nasty, good or bad, dangerous or safe.
Thoughts are simply
electro-chemical impulses in our brain. Thoughts are NOT
statements of fact.
Epictetus, in the first
century, said: "Men are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take
of them". CBT says that it is not the event which causes the emotion (and
our behavioural reaction) but the meaning we give that event
- or what we think ABOUT that event.
Because of our previous
experiences, our upbringing, our culture, religious beliefs and family values,
we may well make very different interpretations and evaluations of situations
than someone else. These interpretations and meanings we give events and
situations, result in physical and emotional feelings.
Don't ASSUME! Because if you
assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME: ASS|U|ME
Something happens or we notice something, which triggers a thought. Particular
types of thoughts tend to lead to particular emotions.
Particular kinds of thoughts lead to different emotions
The thoughts: Something
bad is going to happen and I won't be able to cope will lead
us to feel anxious and we will try to avoid or escape those situations
The thoughts: I'm being treated unfairly will lead
us to feel angry, and we respond by attacking, shouting or hitting out in some
way
Negative or gloomy thoughts will lead to
depression, so we
withdraw and isolate ourselves, and do less
Automatic thoughts
Can be words, an image,
a memory, a physical sensation, an imagined sound, or based on our intuition
or a
sense of just knowing
Believable. We tend to
automatically believe our thoughts, usually not stopping to question their
validity. When another driver cuts me up, I might judge that he`s a selfish
thoughtless toad, but in fact, he might be taking his wife to hospital as
she is about to give birth. Thoughts are not necessarily true, accurate or
helpful. Ask: Is thisfact or opinion?
Are automatic. They
just happen, popping into your head and you often won`t even notice them.
Our thoughts are ours.
They can be quite specific to us, perhaps because of our present or past
experience, knowledge, values and culture, or just for no good reason at all.
Some thoughts are so out of keeping with all those things, and that can make
them seem all the more distressing, because we add some meaning about why we
had them (I must be a bad person!)
Habitual and persistent.
Our thoughts seem to repeat over and over, and the more they repeat, the
more believable they seem, then they set off a whole chain of new related
thoughts that lead us to feel worse and worse. They can follow themes, for
short periods, or very often, throughout years and decades.
Use STOPP skill to help you learn to notice, question
and decide how to react to distressing thoughts